Revenge of the Luxating Patella

As I’ve described before, Tink the cat has a gimpy knee.

I don’t really know why I’m posting this, aside from it being ongoing life stuff, but it gets gross and unhappy quickly after the break.

Two nights ago, that gimpy knee started acting up again, and contributed to the perfect storm of a screaming cat freak-out: the perfect storm like when all the things that can distress a cat come together in a single moment of terrible coincidence and make her batshit howlingly insane.

This time, the first factor was the luxating patella — the bad knee, which is still bothering her, and which I’d idly notice in passing (“Hmm, Tink is stretching out that right back leg an awful lot”), but didn’t think about too much. The second factor was the thunderstorm, which Tink never likes, and always growls at. So: cat in pain from the knee, and frightened by the weather. I come back from the grocery store and put things away, leaving the empty bags on the floor for Tink and Zeugma to investigate, as they like to do. Tink in particular likes to get her head through one of the handles and swan around the house with the bag like a cape, and so she did.

There was, unfortunately, a wardrobe malfunction, and the handles of the bag wound up around her waist, with the rest of the bag around her hindquarters. As best as I can figure out, this plus thunder was scary. So she ran.

Delighted, Zeugma gave chase. And hence the perfect storm of a screaming cat freakout.

They went up and down the stairs twice in less than ten seconds before I realized from the volume of screaming just how bad things were and intervened. Zeugma, bless her, apparently shared my realization and went and hid. Tink wound up in the kitchen, hissing and screaming at everything, including me, with the bag around her hindquarters. The way I figured it, the first thing to do was get the bag off her, because that was scaring her most. I didn’t take the time to find scissors, and instead gently pulled apart the thin handles of the plastic bag, doing my best not to pull on Tink in any way.

She screamed at me the whole time, and was so terrified she voided herself as I got the bag off her. It took me maybe five seconds. I had the windows open, and she screamed so loudly, I was worried that the neighbors would call the police. That was the most awful part: seeing her screaming and voiding herself because I was one of the things scaring her as I tried to make her less scared.

The next thing I had to do was isolate her: put her where she wouldn’t be frightened by me or Zeugma. That meant putting her into a pet carrier and putting her into the back bedroom. Again, she was furious and terrified, and screamed all the way. And then I go down the stairs and clean the terrified cat piss off of every step from upstairs to the kitchen, and there’s still a scent of it in the air.

She screamed at me when I came in to feed her and scoop her box the next day — there was nothing — and screamed at me again the next evening. And then she pulled the door open (it’s an old house) and ran into Zeugma and there was another screaming cat freakout, with Tink winding up hiding in a corner in the bathroom, and screaming at me if I come in. Finally she dashes back into the back bedroom, and I can clean off the top of the radiator and the bathtub, where she’s voided everything again, and it stinks of terrified cat piss and shit.

So today it was The Cat Whisperer. Food, talk, toys, talk, and more food and more talk. And Tink’s OK now. The leg’s bothering her, and she’s grumping about it, but she’s curled up under the desk, and she purrs when I pet her. Zeugma’s in my bedroom, meowing that she’s lonely.

I’m planning on mopping down the whole house and bleaching the bathroom, because there’s still that persistent faint tang of cat terror, that whiff of it that you know if you’ve smelled it before.

No more plastic bags, ever.

Revenge of the Luxating Patella

9 thoughts on “Revenge of the Luxating Patella

  • June 13, 2007 at 12:29 am
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    Good plan. It’s much better to use canvas tote bags at the grocery store. Poor little Tinker. I’m glad she’s okay now.

  • June 13, 2007 at 1:59 pm
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    Oh, dear. Dear. Dear.

    Yes, poor Tink. I’m glad she’s ok.

    My Casey (the cat with many allergies who freaks out if moved by some conveyance other than his own) voids himself whenever we go to the vet. Ah, the joys of pet parenting.

  • June 13, 2007 at 2:15 pm
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    Oh, man, I’m glad Tink’s calmed down. One of our cats did the bag trick once with a paper bag with the corded handles. It’s amazing how fast they can run.

  • June 14, 2007 at 1:17 am
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    Is Tink the one who does freak out from time to time, or is her knee pain making her crazy? When you mentioned the open window, I thought that she was going to jump out and run away. Poor kitty. Poor house. Poor you.

  • June 14, 2007 at 10:09 pm
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    We’re back to a tentative peace. There’s some occasional hissing, but the doors in the house are open again, the food and water dishes and litter boxen are back in their proper places, and Zeugma can stop hitting repeat on the CD player for track 9 of Journey’s greatest hits. And Joanna, now that you mention it, Tink is the one who does freak out from time to time. Her knee’s still bothering her, but I don’t want to take her to the vet — always a scary time, as Donna notes — when things are still uneasy for her. And I don’t know how much the vet could do, aside from massaging the leg and perhaps helping pop that kneecap back into place, although Tink seems to do a good job of that on her own. Still, she hobbles a bit, and there’s clear weakness when she tries to jump.

  • June 20, 2007 at 10:30 pm
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    Sounds like your cat’s have inherited some of our cats’ spirits. We have two black and white cats which are both semi-feral, one more than the other. When Ida got caught in a plastic bag like your describe, it was insanity with three other cats ending up freaking out as well. I’m just glad she didn’t have a bum knee to boot. Cats, don’t you love how they rule your life, even when they don’t? By the way, I’m sorta in your neighborhood: Charlottesville, VA today. Back to D.C. on Friday.

  • June 20, 2007 at 11:51 pm
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    Hey, Bradley — sorry to hear some of your bad reports on DC. Here’s what to do to have a better time:

    1. Go to Red Sea in Adams Morgan for some awesome Ethiopian food.

    2. Visit the Library of Congress. It’s like being inside a Faberge Egg. And there’s lots of wonderful stuff about writing to observe.

    3. Check out the Freer Gallery, on the Mall. The Sackler is closed until Sunday, but I think the Freer is open.

    4. Take the Metro to Union Station, enjoy the architecture, and then go across the street to the Postal Museum and the Brewery.

  • June 24, 2007 at 9:07 pm
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    We didn’t get to take advantage of any of your suggestions Mike. We had a good time, though a short visit to D.C. It’s just that the Mall was so disappointing, so dumpy (not counting the monuments but for the ponds). I’m not sure when we’ll get to visit again, but I’ll be sure to hit you up for suggestions whenever that is.

  • September 29, 2007 at 3:26 pm
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    My cat Shyla has the same problem with her knee…well it was just one until I took her to the vet. The vet was so excited that she figured out what her limping was all about that she had to show her trainee that she could get the other knee to do the same thing. Of course, now poor Shyla hops on both legs almost like a rabbit. I tried the pills the doctor gave me but fighting with her to get the pill down her throat was causing more knee pain. We figured she must have hurt herself jumpind down from her window shelf. My husband (who swears he doesn’t like cats) built stairs for her so she wouldn’t need to jump up or down. This has been a trumendous help to her and she does not limp (hop) near as much.

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