So I was getting ready to take a shower this morning when I saw a bug on the baseboard outside the bathroom. As is my habit when I see a bug in the apartment (there are a few holes in my window screens, but no, I don’t see bugs all that often, and I’ve so far never seen a roach or an ant in here, knock on wood), I went and collected the girls and pointed them towards it to do what cats do. It was a little bit on the large side, but nothing they couldn’t handle, or so I thought.
They both gave initial swats only to immediately jump back a good foot or so, and Tink washed her face a bit. So I took a closer look
and — sure enough — I’d pointed them at a stink bug, Hemiptera Pentatomidae, which have a couple of thoracic glands that they use to squirt foul-smelling stuff at would-be predators. Hence the name, and the girls’ dismay.
So I imagine they’ll be a little more circumspect in the future. If I’d had a video camera, we could have had ourselves a little morning Wild Kingdom moment in my bedroom. Except without all that stuff when the elephant goes after Marlin Perkins’s groin with its trunk.
And speaking of groins, I discovered I’d received my first weblog comment spam this morning, from somebody named “Penis Enlargement” (with such obvious parental cruelty in naming, it’s no wonder this person became a spammer) who wanted me to visit a rather large collection of sites offering both Viagra and penis enlargement services. Personally, I think it’d make more sense to first offer the penis enlargement services and only then offer the Viagra, but that probably shows how little I know. Maybe a better idea would be to offer Viagra and then a while later prey on your buyers’ insecurities by saying, “Look, we sold you Viagra, and you were probably totally disappointing in the downstairs department. Aren’t you ashamed? Well, don’t be, because we’ve got something else for you!”
In any case, I checked out Mark Pilgrim’s excellent thoughts on the whole comment spam thing (via Shelley via Liz), and I’m thinking that if a couple “club” solutions don’t work, I might make it necessary to register to post comments here. Which I don’t want to do, ’cause I know it’s a pain in the ass when I encounter it on other peoples’ weblogs, so I’m hoping this Penis Enargement person takes her or his comments elsewhere.
I mean, if people — including myself — feel like it’s important to talk about penises, I think we can manage it pretty well on our own. It could even be a weekly category type thing, like instead of the Friday Five or Metafilter’s Flash Friday or my own Friday Non-Dissertational, I could try setting up a “Friday Genital Moment” category.
No, really.
Hee hee.
I get an average of two “Enlarge Your Penis” spams via e-mail a day. Yesterday, my significant other, S. got an “Enlarge Your Breasts” e-mail. If I took the advice of my spammers, and he took the advice of his. . .well, you thought your roasting pan story was weird 😉
Yeah, you could do a Friday Genital Moment, but I have another idea. I like hearing stories about the girls, so I suggest you follow the tradition of Trish Wilson and do Friday cat blogging.
Cindy, why be exclusive about it? We all know quite well that if Hunter S. Thompson were into bodily augmentations, he’d take all the drugs. Lesser mortals can only hope to follow such a brave example. Imagine all the envious looks one could get at the Wal-Mart register buying both a really big. . . Well, you get the idea.
Clancy, that’s kinda what my “I like cats” post is trying to get at, and I think your idea’s worthwhile: Zeugma and Tink can certainly pinch-hit for fiction any time. And you’re right about the Genital Moment, too: why just limit them to Fridays?