My name’s Dick Cheney, and I’m here to tell you that it’s absolutely essential that eight weeks from today, on November 2, we make the right choice, because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we’ll get hit again and we’ll be hit in a way that will be devastating.
Let me be a little more explicit, so you liberal whiners will shut up. If you assholes don’t vote for me and George, I’m gonna make sure terrorists bomb your fucking house. You got me, fuckface? You vote for Kerry, your family’s gonna get capped. That’s not a threat, that’s a promise, you sniveling liberal turd. You think we can’t do it? Doug Feith and Richard Perle ran the 1980s Afghanistan resistance, you forgetful fucks. They trained Al Qaeda. How hard do you think it is to put an RPG through your bedroom window? How hard, asshole? Huh? I’m talking to you.
Think we won’t. Go ahead. We got the Diebold electronic voting machines on our side, baby. We know where you live. We find out you didn’t vote for us, we got plenty of time to come visit you at your place of work. Loosen some lug nuts, cut some brake lines. Vote the wrong way, you might accidentally step in front of a bus. Do you get the message, you pansy-ass liberal fuckwads? Do you know how to vote now, or is there still some part of “hit” and “devastating” that you don’t understand?
My name is Dick Cheney, and I approved this announcement.
Yeah, well your candidate is so damn sensitive. What’s he gonna do about, girlie man? Teaching writing, what a sissy. They said the Army was going to make a man outta you, but look at you now.
Send it to moveon.org and let’s get it on the air, Mike. Or better yet, send it to Jon Stewart. He’ll see the brilliance immediately.
These idiots are convinced they can scare Americans into doing their bidding. I smell panic among the Bushies.
Have fun at camp, Dick.
Thanks, Clancy. I mean, I know I’m constitutionally unable to do ‘subtle’ — but now I’m even less subtle than The Onion.
Well, deep in my heart, I guess I kinda knew that anyway. 🙂
Hilarious!
and just as much to the point, i think the putin government’s flagrant attempt to use these horrid attacks in russia to crack down on democratic reforms really shows the process that has happened here in the U.S. in pretty stark relief. it seems like if i make the argument that keeping the population in the U.S. terrified has a direct relationship to the government’s ability to seize power for duplicitous reasons, people most often react that that relationship doesn’t even exist — that the government just wouldn’t do soemthing like that because it’s so mean, or it’s too sinister, or something. but this bit in russia demonstrates pretty clearly that this sort of thing DOES happen — that violent acts framable as “terrorism” can be quite helpful to government leaders who want to aggregate power to themselves.
when i first heard about the putin reform my first thought was that line from “JFK” when kev costner-as-jim-garrison is on that Tonight Show knockoff, saying, if an assassination in the soviet union happened that looked like the Kennedy assassination, “we would know what to think” about it. and i think putin’s recent moves give us a similar context for thinking about the Patriot Act and cheney’s recent threats/promises of further violence.